Valentine’s day is the worst day for men. We have to jump through so many hoops to try to give her what she wants, and even if we get it right, there’s no guarantee we’ll get what we want. You have to buy the flowers. You must buy candy and you must take her out … More Valentines Day Massacre!!!
We had some friends over for dinner. I asked my wife, “Sweetie, will you please get us some water”? A short time later, I said, “Sweetheart, will you please bring us a beer”? My friend told me he was impressed that after 18 years, we still used loving terms. I said,”I gotta be honest with … More I think it’s… No, it’s… Aw, forget about it!!
My favorite number is 4,253. Don’t ask. It’s classified and I don’t want to lose another friend. I used to work for the Department of Defense and everytime someone asked me what I did there, I always told them it was classified. It was far from the truth but a lot of fun seeing the … More It’s All in the Numbers!!
Every time the neighbors begin to start getting to know me, I tell them I’m in the witness protection program, so they should probably keep their distance. … More Moving Your House!