I was officiating a wedding and when I introduced the couple as married I heard a little girl ask her Mom, “Mommy, why did that lady switch?” Her Mom asked her what she meant. The girl said, “She came down with one man but left with another one.” Adorable. A child’s take on life can … More She Switched?!?!?!
A friend of mine was getting married. His Dad sent him a text: “Son, today is a day you will treasure your whole life. My best love and good wishes. Love, Dad.” My friend texts back: “Thanks Dad, but the wedding isn’t until tomorrow.” His Dad replied “I know.” People either love weddings or hate … More My Wedding Day? Yikes!!!
My nephew had to give a speech at his graduation. He read from his notes. “My mother has been a wonderful influence for me. She is a shining example…” He paused and said, “Sorry, but it’s really hard to read her handwriting.” Oops! His Mom just shrunk in her chair. She hadn’t written it, of … More I Can’t Read!!!
Sadly, 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones. I love being married. Some people hate it. There’s something about marriage that says “It’s you and me against the world.” No matter what happens, we’ll be there for … More Till Death Do Us Part!!
I’ve been married 18 years, but my wife nearly called off the wedding when I referred to our rehearsal dinner as the “Last Supper.” I’ve been married several times, and I’m convinced that brides have no sense of humor. Prior to my first wedding, I worked in a shoe store. We threw plastic shoe … More Somebody Help Me!!
One of my close friends was about to get married and was very excited. I said,”Congratulations, John. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sure you’ll remember this day fondly for the rest of your life”. He said, “Thanks, but my wedding day isn’t until tomorrow”. I said “Yeah, I know”. Today marks … More This is Your Last Chance!!
My cousin filed a missing persons report on his wife. The officer asked, “What is her height?” “Average, I guess.”
Officer: “Slim or heavy?” “Not slim, but not heavy.” Officer: “Hair color?” “Kind of blonde, I think.” Officer: “What was she wearing?” “Not sure.” Officer: “Was she driving?” “Yes. A Black Mercedes with a supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine, an eight-speed automatic transmission. It has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door…” … More I Can’t Remember!!