These black Friday commercials from auto dealerships really crack me up. I know there are some but seriously, who gets a car for Christmas? So many of the stores have been advertising black Friday deals for weeks. The reason it is called Black Friday is because that is the day that many retailers move their … More It’s A Brand New Car!!
Usually when someone dies, the first thing people ask is when? Not how, but when. it’s like they have to start working on their alibi. “He passed yesterday” “I’m Going to need more specific information.” Alibis are important to have just in case you become a suspect in any crime. If detectives want to talk … More When Did It Happen?
Why are they called ‘convenience stores’? They don’t sell everything you need. That’s not very convenient. Yesterday I wanted to get some wicker patio furniture because we were going to have a fire on the patio. It was 1 am so I went to 7-11. They had nothing! I know! I’m writing a letter. In … More What Do You Mean You Don’t Have It?????
A friend of mine and I were talking about our funerals. He said, “I want to be cremated and my ashes spread over Walmart. That way I know my daughters will visit me at least twice a week.” I don’t want to be maudlin but these things need to be planned. I certainly don’t want … More Seriously?? Walmart???
When we first married, I was a pretty stubborn knucklehead. One day I came home and found a note on the fridge. It read “This isn’t working. I’m going to my Mom’s for a while.” I opened the fridge and thought, “The light came on and the beer is still cold. What the heck is … More It’s Not Broken!!!
Your wife or husband sends you to Wal-Mart to pick up some bread and milk. She knows something is wrong when you’re gone for seven hours and the receipt reads $14,004.48. They must be stopped. What’s next, real estate? They have already cornered the market on so many things. Groceries, frozen corn dogs, green olives, … More Walmart Is Now Selling Cars???
A man took his son to a horse auction. He watched his father go from horse to horse running his hands on the legs, rump and chest. His son asked him why he did that. His Dad said that when he’s going to buy a horse he needs to do that to be sure the … More Bring On The Drones!!!
Why do weather people always tell you what to do? “It’s 28° out there, so be sure to bundle up!” Really? I’m glad I watched the news. I was going to wear my speedo. They just can’t help themselves. Its like they are our Moms. “Its snowing out on the roadways, so be sure … More Stop Telling Me What To Do!!!
I’ll never forget what the judge said to me when I was in court for a divorce. She said, “What, you again”? Obviously, a funny person – on the bench and not for the cameras. I think every city needs to have a funny person on staff. The possibilities to help out are endless. … More I Now Pronounce You Single!!
A survey revealed that men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes. In the same survey, women say the first thing they notice about men is they are liars. … More I Love Your Eyes!