In Utah, which is where I live, there are fireworks throughout the entire month of July. Our dogs are really afraid of the sound of these stupid things. They feel the need to celebrate pioneer day on July 24. But people shoot off fireworks all month long. This year, I think I will put the … More Stop Scaring My Dogs!!!
Since our state legislators think it’s ok to modify propositions the people vote for without our consent, I think we should be able to change things in their lives the same way. Sorry Governor, we have decided to replace your limo with a 1971 Ford Pinto, in the interest of the people. Who do these … More We Voted On The Important Issues! So What???
When I was 18, I was hired along with two other guys to remove scrap metal from old buildings. We found three live hand grenades. We decided to take them to the boss in a box. I said, “What if one blows up on the way?” Another guy said, “We’ll just tell them that we … More Hit The Deck!!!
I first met ‘Dad’ about 21 years ago when I began dating his daughter, my beautiful wife Heather. He was working out of town for quite some time so by the time this meeting occurred, Heather and I had planned to marry. We met at a restaurant and had a great conversation. Internally, I’m not … More A Tribute: Scott Kay Roundy, My Father In Law
The people (obviously not everyone) vote in a President who was a reality tv host known mostly for his famous two words; "You're fired!" and we can't understand why he's firing people? Who knows what possesses people to do crazy things? Why did D.B. Cooper jump out of a plane with millions of stolen dollars? … More I’m So Confused!!!
In Hampton, Florida, revenue collected from unsuspecting motorists over the years was used to purchased cigarettes, beer, and even combat gear for city officials. Also, the mayor’s arrest for allegedly attempting to sell an oxycodone pill to an undercover officer. The town has a population of only 500, so how could the mayor not know … More I’m Crazy!!!
I’m not saying the air is polluted here, but last week I saw birds wearing gas masks. I live near Salt Lake City. Its beautiful here. The mountains are majestic, the ski slopes rival any in the country, maybe even in the world. The people are friendly, the crime rate is low and the economy … More I Can’t Breathe!!
A friend of mine got pulled over. The officer had his dog sniff the car. The cop came over and said, “My dog says you have cannibis oil in the car.” My friend said, “Well I don’t know about that, but I want whatever’s got you talking to the dog!” I think that states that … More I Want My Cannabis Oil!!!
I told you about my girlfriend who would just disappear for weeks and go to some exotic location and never even let me know when and where she was. One day I told a friend that she was probably in the Caribbean somewhere. He said, “Jamaica”? I said, “No, she went willingly”. As you know, … More Don’t Send Me To Russia!!
I have moved so many times, I tell people I’m in the witness protection program. According to Ask.com, the average family moves every 5 to 7 years. At least I’m above average in something. In fact, I’ve shattered that average. Just in this 18 year marriage, we’ve moved 11 times. It’s like we’re in hiding. … More Nobody Move!