Due to my tweet about shooting my neighbor yesterday, the city is demanding that I step down from being caretaker of my two toy schnauzers. The dogs have no opposable thumbs and one only has six teeth. What are they going to do, bark someone to death? I think I’m going to close my Twitter … More I’m Not Going To Resign!!!
Twitter has gotten so out of hand. Yesterday the birds in our neighborhood marched with picket signs to try to get people from calling the messages ‘tweets’. It was similar to the march last year on Halloween when birds protested small children saying the phrase ‘Trick or treat’ as ‘Twick or tweet’. Unfortunately, there are … More Rosanne is Baaack… What? She’s Not?????
Heather wanted a Pebble watch this year and prefers a heavy metal band rather than the leather one that comes with the watch. My neighbor gave me an idea for a gag gift. I took her old Pebble watch and super glued a Metallica CD to the face of it. Wait for it…. I’m your … More You Idiot!!!
A woman was praying one night and said to God, “Lord please cause my husband to love me, be concerned about me, spend more time with me, sleep closer to me and be concerned about every little thing about me, even the smallest of scratches”. God turned her into a smart phone. In today’s … More I Need You to Charge Me!!