We played the Christmas version of ‘Clue’ this year. My Mother-in-law killed the Christmas dinner, in the kitchen, with the oven. Just kidding. She didn’t even touch the holiday dinner. We’ve learned that the hard way. One year, she took the turkey out of the oven and I swear it cried out for help. This … More Get A Clue!!!
Why buy a small cooked rotisserie chicken at the supermarket? This time of year you can buy a much larger chicken, season it to taste and let it slow roast on the sidewalk. Bonus! You can watch people slip on the juices afterward. Who doesn’t like a good, juicy rotisserie chicken now and again? Aside … More I’m Roasting A Chicken – On The Sidewalk!!!
A friend of mine is a poultry farmer and was always trying to breed turkeys with six legs for greater profits. Finally, he did it! I asked, “What about the flavor?” He said, I have no idea. I can’t catch him.” My daughter, Cecilee is a vegan. I’m really beginning to understand why. They inject … More A Six Legged What???
I don’t care who you are, no one looks cool putting on deodorant. Since we don’t want to get the nasty white deodorant lines on our shirts and blouses, we put the deodorant on after the clothing. There is just no technique known to mankind that can make you look cool during application. I think … More I Stink!!
A lady was looking through all of the turkeys at the grocery store but couldn’t find one large enough to suit her needs. She asked the clerk, “Excuse me, do these turkeys get any bigger?” The clerk said, “No ma’am, they’re dead.” So many years ago, as the pilgrims sat down to eat with … More What?? No Football????
Two women who had just met at a gy were talking about how they hope to stay healthy. One woman asked the other to detail her daily routine. She said, “I eat very healthy, I exercise moderately and I drink moderately.” The other woman asked, “Is there anything else you do?” “Yes,” she said, “I … More She Said What???
Last month, I found a wounded duck in my yard. I didn’t know what to do, so I called the Audubon Society for advice. The representative said, “All you can do is try to nurse it back to health”, so I did that and the duck is doing fine now but my nipples are killing me! … More Wait! Don’t Shoot!!
The best thing to do with Thanksgiving leftovers is make sure all of the food is secure in plastic containers, throw all of the containers away and buy new ones. … More Enough with the leftovers already!!
A very happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate today. For my international friends, I hope you are blessed with the time you spend with your family this weekend! See you tomorrow! Jerry
This day is the grocery store version of Black Friday. It gets crazy. Sometimes my wife and I get separated, but I never go look for her. I look for a beautiful woman to you talk to for a couple of minutes because every time I do, my wife appears out of nowhere. … More Thanksgiving!!