For anyone over 50 I’m sure we all remember the time when we felt that we were invincible. I know I did. The only thing that slowed me down was a tonsillectomy. Up until I turned 51, I thought sciatica was an Al Pacino movie. I think it’s always interesting to learn about different body … More Man, Am I Old Or What?
I was always late for work. My boss threatened to fire me, so my doctor prescribed some Ambien. I finally slept well and got to work early. I told my boss, “I got some Ambien and I can’t believe it, I’m early”! He said, “That’s great, but where were you yesterday”? Fatigue is an enemy … More I Can’t Remember!!!
I had a doctor appointment and just before leaving, I remembered the old phrase “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” So I brought an apple. He was just about to give me an injection when I beaned him like a hard throwing MLB pitcher. He dropped like a rock and it must be … More I Think I Killed My Doctor!!!
I was constantly late for work. My boss threatened to fire me, so my doctor prescribed some sleeping pills. I finally got a great nights sleep and got to work early. I told my boss, “I got some sleeping pills and I can’t believe it, I’m early”! He said, “That’s great, but where were you … More Where Was I ???
I finally realized that I needed to get in shape, so I made plans to join a gym and work out for one full year. The year I picked is 2036. I’ll be 90 years old by that time and it’s much more impressive to see a 90 year old at the gym than someone … More I’m Too Lazy!!
The manager said to one of two applicants and said, “Thank you for your interest, you each missed the same question but we’ve decided on the other applicant.” The guy said, “Why? That’s not fair”! “Simple, the other engineer put down on question number five, ‘I don’t know,’ you put down, ‘neither do I’.” … More Two Engineers Walk In Two A Bar…
A friend of mine had to have his arm removed. The surgeon accidentally removed the wrong arm. The guy sued but lost because instead of studying about the law, he was just winging it. I’m nervous. Later today I’m going to have knee replacement surgery. It’s the big one. (Not the knee, the surgery. … More You’re going to cut what???
I’ve had so many body parts removed, I think my doctor is harvesting my organs. I’m not kidding. So far, it’s been a kidney, tonsils, appendix, 12″ of colon, and a couple of years ago, one of the twins ran away from home. … More Aw, Nuts!
I know I’m getting old. Yesterday, I tried to straighten the wrinkles in my socks, only to find I wasn’t wearing any. … More I’m Getting Old!