I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to do so. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. Some people are far too honest. You know them. Proud to … More I’m Better Than You!!!!
I think the reason there are so many “Smiths” in the phone book is because they all have phones. Every few months, I get one or two new phone books that go directly into the recycle bin. It’s very annoying. Whoever delivers these stupid books should just do us a favor and drop them off … More Enough With The Phone Books Already!!!
My smartphone is like my wife. It wakes me up, tells me what to do all day, lets me know if I’m headed the wrong direction. Plus, sometimes I want to upgrade. See? Only a stupid person would publish that about his spouse. I’m just kidding. I really love my wife. I do … More Yikes! My Smartphone is Making Me Stupid!!
Golf is a great sport, unless you die playing it. Then it’s a bummer. … More Killer Golf!
I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to move away. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. … More Maniacs!
Don’t make me angry, The voices in my head don’t like it when you make me angry. … More Blood and Guts
Whenever I see hash tags, it makes me hungry for breakfast at Dennys. … More Hash Tags and Eggs!
I think it would be funny if one of the networks hired a group of gregarious psychics and do a show called “The Tomorrow Show. … More The Tonight Show!
In Vancouver, BC, someone invented and now serves marijuana pizza. Brilliant! Satisfy your habit and the munchies at the same time! … More Marijuana Pizza!
I thought about going into politics but I could never cheat on my wife. … More Infidelity!