Ok, I admit it. I’m the one who meddled with the election. It wasn’t the Russians at all. They were just an easy target. My candidate, a guy named Mike, wasn’t on the ballot, so I had no choice. He lost anyway, so it’s a mute point. I’m sure I’ll be hearing from Homeland Security … More I Did It! I Meddled With The Election!!!
I think President Lincoln needed to watch that play like he needed a hole in his head. Don’t get upset with me. That was not only funny, it happened a very long time ago. There has long been a joke out there “Other than that, did you enjoy the play Mrs. Lincoln?” Admit it, you’re … More Ow! That Hurt!!!
A 911 dispatcher received this call last week. “Please help me, there’s a cat near me.” “Calm down. Unless it’s a bobcat, it won’t hurt you.” “This one will! It’s just staring at me, and I know it’s going to attack me soon!” “Ma’am…” “What do you mean, Ma’am? I’m a parrot, you idiot!” … More Help! A Cat!!
My cousin is so dumb, he thought a barbecue was the waiting list for getting a haircut. … More Run For Your Life!
When one of my daughters was young, she asked me where she came from. Oy! So I determined it was time for “The Talk”. After I rambled on for a nerve wracking 30 minutes, I asked her why she asked me. She said, “Well, the new kid at school said he came from Nebraska, so…” … More Where Did I Come From??
I drink so much coffee, it keeps me awake at night. It gives me the shakes. Why is it that nothing from Columbia ever slows you down? … More National Crash Day!!