All Aboard!!!

Yesterday I took a train downtown. About halfway there the tracks shifted and we started going east. It wouldn’t stop. When we finally did, it was a 30 borscht stop. It was cool because I had never been to Russia. Plus I was all wet. My friends don’t believe me, but I’m pretty sure it … More All Aboard!!!

I Know How The Russians Did It!!!

I figured it out! Russia has been infiltrating spies for decades! Just think about the subtle comparisons. Cosmonauts/Cosmetologists.who would suspect? And I’m pretty sure they get their assignments from special codes inside Cosmopolitan Magazine. I know! I have been in touch with the FBI several times and they’re taking this very seriously. I wouldn’t be … More I Know How The Russians Did It!!!

I’m Not Guilty!!!

Robert Mueller’s team raided my home office yesterday. I know! They said it was because I had been playing the card game Spades on my computer which always includes one suit that is trump. I’m going to plead the fifth in Russian. It seems like everybody on ‘The Hill’ is either getting raided, fired or … More I’m Not Guilty!!!

I’m A Spy!!!

OK, let’s get this over with already. Oy. I talked to the Russian Ambassador and wiretapped the President’s phones. I also released the secret documents. Now can we get back to working on our country? By far, this has been the most bizarre election and transition in my lifetime. I know I’m young, according  to … More I’m A Spy!!!

He Spoke With Him???

I don’t know why everyone is so upset that Jeff Sessions spoke with a Russian Ambassador prior to becoming a Republican surrogate for the Republican candidate. Sarah Palin could see Russia from her house outside of Wasilla, Alaska which means she could have been in communication with a mirror or smoke signals. Depending on which … More He Spoke With Him???