You Cheated On Me!!!

The next time you’re waiting to be seated at a very busy restaurant, try this. Take out your cell phone and pretend to be talking to someone. Very loudly say, “Get over here now! He’s with another woman!” I predict you’ll get a table quickly. I don’t know why people cheat on their significant other. … More You Cheated On Me!!!

Hello?

I avoid the word “hello” completely. It is almost always the last word spoken by murder victims on TV and the movies. If I were ever in that situation, I think I would say, “Hey, Jason, we finally found this guy. Let’s kill him!” … More Hello?