I went kayaking in Florida once and capsized the stupid thing. I decided to swim back to shore, but I was afraid of alligators. I saw a guy in a boat and asked him if they’d had problems with gators here. “Gators? Nope, they’ve been gone for years.” I felt instantly relieved. Then the guy said, “The sharks got ’em.” … More Gatorade!!
When I got engaged (the first time) her father asked me what I planned to do for a living. I said that God would provide. He asked me how I would be able to buy a house and sustain a family. Again, I said that God would provide. Afterward, I heard his wife ask how it went. Her Dad said, “Well, he doesn’t have a job or any plans for the future, but the good news is he thinks I’m God.” … More Get a Job!
Last week, my wife and I went shopping for clothes. A lady in front of us at the checkout pulled out her wallet and a remote control. The cashier asked what was up with the remote and the woman said, “Well, he wouldn’t go shopping with me, so I figured this was the best way to get even.” … More Shopping? Please, No!