I’m only certain times one thing in my life. And that is when I call someone who needs to use a computer to give me what I need, and that computer is running slow the person will, without a doubt, make noises like. “Do to do to do.” It’s not unusual, in fact I do … More Hang On A Minute!!!!!!
I saw a couple arguing. She said, “I’m really getting tired of hearing about your promotion. I’m proud of you but the grocery store has a VP of peas.” He put his cell phone on speaker and called the store. He said “I’d like to speak with the VP of peas.” The person said,”Fresh or … More Seriously??? In A Grocery Store???
I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to do so. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. Some people are far too honest. You know them. Proud to … More I’m Better Than You!!!!
Having a radio show is a exactly like doing stand up comedy. There’s an audience for both but with stand up you get instant gratification. In radio, you have to wait for the ratings book to come out to see if you’re doing well. Come to think about it, radio and stand up are totally … More Disaster!! How Do I Get Out Of This????
More than once, while playing a song, a listener called into my show and told me they could hear me. I said, “Great! Thanks for listening. Where are you?” He said, “It doesn’t matter, you idiot. I can hear you on the air NOW!” Oops. Forgot to turn the mic off. The broadcasting business can … More They’re Listening!!!!
Two men in their 60’s were sitting next to each other on a Florida beach. One guy asks the other, “So, just visiting?” The other man replied, “No, I’m retired. I had a business and it burned down.” The second man said, “Same with me, only mine was a flood.” Perplexed, the other man asks, … More Turn Off the Water!!!
Heather and I went out last week and noticed a guy about my age break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. Heather said, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” I said, “Looks like he’s still celebrating!” Definitely the wrong thing to say. I love my … More You Said “l Don’t”???
A dj was fired. He protested that his show was number one! “Yes, said the boss, but you’re not hitting our demographic.” “What is our demo?”, asked the stunned dj. The boss said “Foreign national midget lesbians with lisps.” I hate the business. It’s all been gobbled up by corporate raiders; bean counters, who … More I Hate Radio!!
Since April Fools Day is a month away, and everyone expects to get pranked that day, I think we should pull our pranks today, when they least expect it. … More I Said March, Mister!!
Being famous is kind of like eating Chinese food. It looks great, and gives you short term satisfaction, but it always leaves you hungry for more. … More There’s No Business Like Show Business!