I’ve heard so many people say, “I can to trust him as far as I can throw him.” This is ridiculous. Why would you want to throw someone to determine their level of trust? I know one thing for sure. If someone three me, I don’t think I would never trust them again. I just … More I Don’t Trust You!!!
Since our state legislators think it’s ok to modify propositions the people vote for without our consent, I think we should be able to change things in their lives the same way. Sorry Governor, we have decided to replace your limo with a 1971 Ford Pinto, in the interest of the people. Who do these … More We Voted On The Important Issues! So What???
Due to my tweet about shooting my neighbor yesterday, the city is demanding that I step down from being caretaker of my two toy schnauzers. The dogs have no opposable thumbs and one only has six teeth. What are they going to do, bark someone to death? I think I’m going to close my Twitter … More I’m Not Going To Resign!!!
I can’t believe you think I would do something like that! – said every liar and cheater ever. The obnoxious phrase, ‘Methinks thou doth protest too much’ deserves a throat punch to the speaker within two seconds after the words are uttered. Still, there is something that rings true in all of its irritating narrative. … More I Can’t Believe You Would Do That!!!
I think all New England Patriots and their fans should be deported. They pose an imminent threat to the AFC East in the NFL. Then we’ll build a wall around the stadium just in case they try to sneak back in. That team just seems to win no matter what happens. That means they have … More New England Border Patrol!!
There are only a couple of things that really freak me out. Clowns and carousels. Last night I dreamed I was surrounded by both. As I write this, I’m being taken to the local psych ward. I dont know why carousels get to me, but they do. Perhaps I saw a creepy scene with … More I’m Psycho!!!
A senator died and met St. Peter, who said, “We seldom see a politician. So, you’ll spend a day hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.” In hell, he sees all of his friends playing golf. Then they dined on lobster and champagne. When he gets back, he said, “No need to see heaven, I want to spend eternity with my friends”. When he arrives, he sees them picking up trash as more trash falls from above. He asks the devil, “I don’t understand. Yesterday we had a great time. Now it’s full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?” The devil said, “Yesterday we were campaigning….Today you voted.” … More Vote For Me!!