On Saturday, I got a call from someone claiming to be a clerk at our police station saying I had a parking ticket that was old and now I had a warrant. It was April Fools Day, so I said, “Really? Your Mama has a warrant out for being ugly.” The jail cell wasn’t too … More I’m A Fool!!
I really don’t know why or how it happens, my wife could be having the best day of her life, but once she gets behind the wheel of a car, her temperament rivals that of an angry incredible hulk. A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy street. Suddenly, the light … More Crazy Road Rage!!!
A friend of mine was out camping for three days and didn’t tell his wife. She was pretty ticked off when he came home on Sunday night. She said, “How would you like it if you couldn’t see me for three days”? Sure enough, He didn’t see her again until Thursday, when the swelling went … More Stay Home!!
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often. Let’s face it, even the nicest among us is selfish in nature. It is part of our carnal nature. At least I know … More Kids Are Crazy!!
A cop was staking a bar for drunk drivers. The bar closed and the officer saw a guy stagger to his car, fumble with his keys and finally get the door open. Everyone else drove away. He started the car and began to drive away but the cop stopped him. He gave him a breathalyzer … More Your Under Arrest!!
Note to self : don’t ever do this again! I have written about my incredibly fast car in this blog. I remembered an incident this morning that I had to share with you. I got pulled over once and the cop said, “I have been waiting for you all day”. I said,” I got here as fast I could”. Cost me $300! … More Things NOT To Say To A Cop!!
A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.”Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked. “Well, I can think of one thing. Once, on a trip to South Dakota, I saw a gang of bikers threatening a young woman. So, I punched the biggest biker in the face, and said, “Now, back off, or I’ll do it again.” St. Peter asked, “When did this happen?” The guy said, “Just a couple of minutes ago.” … More Biker Gang Shootout!!
A 911 dispatcher received this call last week. “Please help me, there’s a cat near me.” “Calm down. Unless it’s a bobcat, it won’t hurt you.” “This one will! It’s just staring at me, and I know it’s going to attack me soon!” “Ma’am…” “What do you mean, Ma’am? I’m a parrot, you idiot!” … More Awk! Help Me!
Golf is a great sport, unless you die playing it. Then it’s a bummer. … More Killer Golf!
I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to move away. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. … More Maniacs!