Yesterday was a weird day. I decided I would do whatever was on my mind without thought of consequence. So I stole a white duck, a Rolls-Royce convertible (I kicked the sales guy out the door and took off) There’s more. A lot more… I even let the duck drive. Some people say they can’t, … More Was It Just A Dream??? A Nightmare???
Nothing in my size fits me anymore. I have to believe there is a conspiracy in the clothing business to alter the sizes, rendering pants, shirts, whatever too small to wear. Now we must buy all new clothing, making these slimy companies billions. I’m sure I haven’t changed sizes. I’m in one of those dilemmas … More It’s Too Tight!!!
I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to do so. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. Some people are far too honest. You know them. Proud to … More I’m Better Than You!!!!
My wife bought me a beautiful Miami Dolphins coat for Christmas. It’s even reversible. Too bad the season isn’t. When I wear the coat I also wear a paper bag over my head. At least sports seems to become less important as I grow older. It used to crush me if one of my favorites … More Skunked Again!!!
I was preparing tuna for sandwiches and had just finished chopping the last ingredient when Sarah, my daughter said, “Daddy, I’ve noticed that the older you get, the more stuff you put in your tuna fish.” She was spot on. I don’t know why it happens, but I think most of us cross the ‘add … More Throw It All In!!!
It seems weird to me that a state that really honors their pioneers is without a Pioneer Chicken franchise. We have Zaxby’s, Popeyes, KFC (including the very first one), Maddox (a beloved local place, and even El Pollo Loco. No Pioneer Chicken. Maybe they only did any business on July 24th, Pioneer Day here in … More Pioneer Day? Let’s have chicken!!
I think someone broke into our house last night! I got up to find the place a complete disaster. The living room was ransacked and the kitchen too. Then I realized my wife has been out of town for a week. Its always that way. I’m sure many men go through the same thing. The … More Home Invasion!!!