Bird Brain!!

Last week I found an injured robin in the backyard. I didn’t know what to do, so I called animal control. They told me to nurse the bird back to health, so I did that and the bird is fine now, but my nipples are killing me! … More Bird Brain!!

Panda Express!!

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The panda eats it, shoots the waiter, and walks out. The owner yells for him to stop. “You order food, kill my waiter, then leave without paying!” The bear says, “Hey! I’m a Panda. Look it up!” The owner Googles “panda bear” and read “Panda: a bear-like marsupial who eats shoots and leaves.” … More Panda Express!!

My Cat Owns Me!

You never have to buy a cat. You pick up a stray or get them from someone giving kittens away. I’ve never seen a cat being bought out of a pet store. They just sit in the pet store. They’re like, ‘Meow,’ and your like, ‘Oh they’re so cute. Let’s go find one like that.’ … More My Cat Owns Me!