I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to do so. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. Some people are far too honest. You know them. Proud to … More I’m Better Than You!!!!
My daughter and her husband are having difficulty keeping their boys from running into the parking lot. So they put up a gate. Steve was working on the outside of the gate and dropped a screw. “Don’t worry, Daddy”, Isaac said, “I’ll get it for you”. He crawled under the gate and got the screw. … More Kids Are Brilliant!!!
An optimist invented the airplane. A pessimist invented the parachute. I am an optimist. Most of the time I keep a positive outlook about everything. My wife, however, is a pessimist. She has a tendency to look at the downside. I think that balance is good. Imagine if both were optimists. It would be as … More I Can’t Decide!!!
Two men in their 60’s were sitting next to each other on a Florida beach. One guy asks the other, “So, just visiting?” The other man replied, “No, I’m retired. I had a business and it burned down.” The second man said, “Same with me, only mine was a flood.” Perplexed, the other man asks, … More Turn Off the Water!!!
If the eyes are truly the windows to the soul, I’m going to put blinds on them. I don’t need people looking in there. … More Windows to the Soul!
I’ve heard people say, “Don’t get your nose out of joint”, which makes me wonder if some people get arthritis in their nose. … More Arthritis in Your Nose??
In my mind, Fruit Loops sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals. … More Breakfast!
Every time my wife asks me who I’m talking to on the phone, texting, emailing, etc., I always tell her it’s Jake, from State Farm. … More Suspicious Minds!
I used to panic if I lost an important email. Now, if I lose one, I’ll just contact NSA and have them forward their copy. … More NSA
If you have a Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Son, Daughter, Grandma, Grandpa, Neice, Nephew, First Cousin, Great Aunt that you love, like and share this. Otherwise, you don’t care. … More Share THIS!