I have a great idea! in baseball, why not combine the designated hitter and the designated driver? The DH could drive all of the drunk people home. Win – win! The day after the World Series and the Super Bowl are the two most depressing days of the year for me. I guess after the … More It’s Over??? It Can’t Be!!!
Last Sunday our pastor preached about 20 minutes longer than normal. As I shook his hand to leave I told him how inspirational the sermon was. He thanked me and I said, “Yeah, it’s amazing what a power nap can do.” I don’t think I’ll go back for a few weeks. He was pretty upset … More That Was (yawn) Great!
When my wife was in labor, they had a magician go around to try to distract the Moms. I asked him how he did a card trick. He said “I could tell you but I’d have to kidnap you, never to be seen again. I said, “Actually, my mother-in-law demands to know!” As I sit … More What Is It Already???
A guy left the front door open so a repairman could get in while he was out. His instructions: The bulldog is really easy going unless provoked. BUT DON’T TALK TO THE BIRD!! The dog was fine, but the bird kept talking. He finally said, “Shut up”! The bird said, “Get him, Spike”! I’ve watched … More Spike This!!
A preacher noticed a little boy trying to ring a doorbell but it was just out of his reach. He walked over to help the boy. After he pressed the doorbell, he asked, “Now what?” The boy turned and shouted, “NOW WE RUN!!” Ah, the things we do as kids. The two brothers closest to … More Stop Bugging Me!!!
When I was 11, I asked my Pastor if he believed in fate. He said,”Son, it is what brings great nations together and makes the world a smaller place. It inspires people to work endless hours. It will some day enable man to span the universe and light years of travel will become mere seconds … More What Did You Say???
A church bulletin: Weight Watchers meeting at 7 PM. Please use large double door at the side entrance. People obviously make mistakes, but none as scrutinized as those printed in a church bulletin. Secretaries proof read the bulletins, but it’s not a fool proof system. The spoken word can get just as messy. One day, … More The Town Hooker
Please turn your IPad to Exodus 14. Switch on Bluetooth. Have your Debit card handy so you can tithe. Connect to the wifi with the password being Jesus. This week’s meetings will be on the whatsapp program. Wednesday Bible study will be held on Skype. Be sure to follow us on Twitter and don’t forget … More Tomorrow’s Church?!?