I Feel Alive!!!

I have gout again, and I love it! Your foot swells up and every step feels like you’re walking on a broken foot. I’ve heard that ‘at least when you feel pain, you know you’re alive’. Um, I know I’m alive because I still have to pay taxes. I’m gonna track that guy who said … More I Feel Alive!!!

It’s Horrible!!!

I feel so sorry for trust fund kids. They have to wait until they're 25 to get their millions. They get very upset because in the meantime they're forced to scrape by with thousands of dollars per month. They completely miss out on the experience of having a job. I've known some trust fund kids … More It’s Horrible!!!

OJ Simpson Freed!! Wait That Sounded a Tad Racist.

OJ Simpson was paroled yesterday for an armed robbery that put him behind bars for 9 years. When asked if he was remorseful for his crime, Simpson said "Yes your honor. I am very sorry for killi… I mean, uh, robbing those people." Some very interesting developments in that case. The prosecutor wanted him freed. … More OJ Simpson Freed!! Wait That Sounded a Tad Racist.

Home Invasion!!!

I think someone broke into our house last night! I got up to find the place a complete disaster. The living room was ransacked and the kitchen too. Then I realized my wife has been out of town for a week. Its always that way. I’m sure many men go through the same thing. The … More Home Invasion!!!

The Verdict is In!!!

A lawyer was defending a murder case. He said, “The alleged victim will walk into the courthouse in one minute. The jury stared at the door when the attorney said, “See? You were all looking at the door, which proves reasonable doubt”! The jury found him guilty. The foreman said, “Everyone was looking at the … More The Verdict is In!!!

What an Idiot!!

Once, while on a long walk I got very tired and I stole a steam roller. I led police on a 5 mph chase, kind of like OJ Simpson. Finally, a cop walked up and turned off the ignition.        A waitress, Brianna Priddy works at a restaurant in the Denver suburb of Colorado. … More What an Idiot!!