I’m A Spy!!!

OK, let’s get this over with already. Oy. I talked to the Russian Ambassador and wiretapped the President’s phones. I also released the secret documents. Now can we get back to working on our country? By far, this has been the most bizarre election and transition in my lifetime. I know I’m young, according  to … More I’m A Spy!!!

When I am in Office…

I’m officially announcing my candidacy for President. Obviously, this is an eleventh hour, grass roots effort that will require write in votes. I promise to bring gas prices down to $1.50 per gallon by stopping payments to oil rich countries and harvesting our own natural resources. Gym class for every child in school and all … More When I am in Office…

Oh No You Didn’t!!

I think the election should be determined by polygraph tests. Instead of the current debates, they each should be connected on the stage while answering the questions presented. The whole country would be able to see the results live. How great would that be? No more lies, cheating and secret scandals to worry about. No … More Oh No You Didn’t!!

Vote For Me!!

A senator died and met St. Peter, who said, “We seldom see a politician. So, you’ll spend a day hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.” In hell, he sees all of his friends playing golf. Then they dined on lobster and champagne. When he gets back, he said, “No need to see heaven, I want to spend eternity with my friends”. When he arrives, he sees them picking up trash as more trash falls from above. He asks the devil, “I don’t understand. Yesterday we had a great time. Now it’s full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?” The devil said, “Yesterday we were campaigning….Today you voted.” … More Vote For Me!!

Electoral College

I wish I’d studied harder in high school.I really wanted to go to the Electoral College. The Electoral College is a good idea, in theory, and is included in the constitution in the 12th Amendment… ” they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted … More Electoral College