OK, let’s get this over with already. Oy. I talked to the Russian Ambassador and wiretapped the President’s phones. I also released the secret documents. Now can we get back to working on our country? By far, this has been the most bizarre election and transition in my lifetime. I know I’m young, according to … More I’m A Spy!!!
I’m officially announcing my candidacy for President. Obviously, this is an eleventh hour, grass roots effort that will require write in votes. I promise to bring gas prices down to $1.50 per gallon by stopping payments to oil rich countries and harvesting our own natural resources. Gym class for every child in school and all … More When I am in Office…
I think the election should be determined by polygraph tests. Instead of the current debates, they each should be connected on the stage while answering the questions presented. The whole country would be able to see the results live. How great would that be? No more lies, cheating and secret scandals to worry about. No … More Oh No You Didn’t!!
I was working on my internet network in my office last week when my wife came in and wanted to know what I was doing. I told her that my PC was telling me that it couldn’t see my printer. She said, “Well I’m not surprised. Your desk is such a mess, I can barely … More Clean This Mess Up!!!
Every time one of our dogs walks across the hardwood floor I get confused and think I’m watching 60 Minutes. We have what we believe are the cutest and smartest dogs on the planet, which is true despite the fact that others claim the same thing. The truth is they are lying. We really … More The Perfect Hot Dog!!!
A senator died and met St. Peter, who said, “We seldom see a politician. So, you’ll spend a day hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.” In hell, he sees all of his friends playing golf. Then they dined on lobster and champagne. When he gets back, he said, “No need to see heaven, I want to spend eternity with my friends”. When he arrives, he sees them picking up trash as more trash falls from above. He asks the devil, “I don’t understand. Yesterday we had a great time. Now it’s full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?” The devil said, “Yesterday we were campaigning….Today you voted.” … More Vote For Me!!
“I think that I shall never see, something as ugly as a dead Christmas tree.” ~ me … More Another Dead Christmas Tree!!
I drink so much coffee, it keeps me awake at night. It gives me the shakes. Why is it that nothing from Columbia ever slows you down? … More National Crash Day!!
Someone named “CIA” just started following me on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Sweet! I’m on fire! … More Unwanted Follower!
I wish I’d studied harder in high school.I really wanted to go to the Electoral College. The Electoral College is a good idea, in theory, and is included in the constitution in the 12th Amendment… ” they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted … More Electoral College