My wife is trying to impeach me because I failed to clean the kitchen on Saturday. I’m worried that she has enough votes because she has swayed the opinions of the dogs. I don’t even think there are articles of impeachment in place in our home, but there’s no doubt who the speaker of the … More I’ve been impeached!!!
We finally caved to the 4K television craze. now I need to figure out what to do with the other 3999 TVs. This is a lot of work. As many of you already know the 4K TV he’s really quite amazing. Watching a movie or TV show that was filmed or taped in high definition … More I have 4000 TVs!!!
We recently started watching the TV series Breaking bad. The wardrobe department had it pretty easy with Bryan Cranston. He spent at least 75% of the time in his tightly whiteys. It makes me wonder if the dude just doesn’t like wearing pants. I don’t either, but at least I wear boxers. We really love … More Bad Break!!!
Ya’ll know that certain words and phrases turn me into a crazed lunatic which isn’t too far off a stretch. Today’s phrase is “end of story”. Although it is a classic way to end an argument, I think it only works for women. “Whatever” is also a good one. my dad had the best one. … More End of story!!!
I’ve heard so many people use the phrase, “I greased the wheels a little bit.” So they are referring to giving somebody some money for special treatment. I think this is stupid. They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so I think that means you should just make tons of noise and be obnoxious … More Grease Those Wheels!!!
Football, schmootball. I think I would much rather binge watch 24 then waste my time watching my favorite teams get crushed. At least in 24 I know who’s going to win. No surprises except for those things I have forgotten. And there are certain things (almost the entire show) that I didn’t remember about the … More Only 24 Hours!!!
Once I bought a nice pocket watch. The sales guy asked me if it was for anyone special. I said “No, I’m just getting it for myself.” He said, “Would you like to have it in graved?” I said, “Yes please. I would like to read, ‘Dear Jerry, I give you this watch as a … More Would I Like It Engraved? Seriously!!!
When I was in Air Force boot camp, we were outside doing physical training. We were told to get in formation and remain still and silent. I couldn’t help myself. I started squirming like I was dancing (not a pretty sight). I heard “Mabbott, what is wrong with you?” “I’m covered with fire ants, sir!” … More They’re Killing Me!
You hear this a lot. The very fact that you say it means it’s not true. When you’re completely over someone, you will stop talking about them. They won’t even cross your mind. I don’t want to see you on an episode of dateline. That’s really not the best way to get the other person … More I’m Completely Over Him!!!
Like using the word bug when you really mean bother. I don’t know why or When bother was replaced by the word bug, maybe it’s just because bugs have a tendency to bug us. There! I’ve done it again. Bugs bother me. End of story. It’s a lot like using the word funny improperly. If … More You Bug Me!!!!
