I should have known my first marriage was over when I opened a Christmas present from my wife and it was luggage. Marriages are very difficult to navigate for long periods of time. I’ve gotten better at it, but navigation through the unknown is risky, at best. Just ask the skipper of the Titanic. … More I Keep A Minister And A Divorce Attorney On Retainer!!!
A woman went to the police station to report her husband missing. She said she tried calling and texting but got no answer. She gave them his picture. The officer said he’s sure they’ll find him. She said, “Great! When you do, please tell him that my mother didn’t come after all.” I think most … More Where Is He?????
A guy left the front door open so a repairman could get in while he was out. His instructions: The bulldog is really easy going unless provoked. BUT DON’T TALK TO THE BIRD!! The dog was fine, but the bird kept talking. He finally said, “Shut up”! The bird said, “Get him, Spike”! I’ve watched … More Spike This!!
Sadly, 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones. I love being married. Some people hate it. There’s something about marriage that says “It’s you and me against the world.” No matter what happens, we’ll be there for … More Till Death Do Us Part!!
One of my close friends was about to get married and was very excited. I said,”Congratulations, John. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sure you’ll remember this day fondly for the rest of your life”. He said, “Thanks, but my wedding day isn’t until tomorrow”. I said “Yeah, I know”. Today marks … More This is Your Last Chance!!
I’ve been married so many often, I keep an attorney and a minister on retainer at all times. … More Married – Again??
Once, during a job interview, the guy asked me if I had ever taken illegal drugs. I joked, “Only on Tuesdays, because every other day of the week is forbidden by my religion.” The guy actually terminated the interview right then. … More You’re Hired!!