I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done. It’s worse than you think. I became a fan of the Miami Dolphins. This time of year is bittersweet for many, including me. It’s playoff time! Yabba Dabba Do!! But, that also means that we’re heading like a bullet train to the end of the season. Horrible. … More I’m an Addict!!!
What do you give to the man who has everything? Simple. Penicillin. Its kind of like the joke where a man goes to the doctor, not feeling well. After tests, the doctor told the man that he had so many illnesses that he needed to be quarantined and fed a steady diet of pizza. … More The Pressure is On!!
My favorite NFL team is the Miami Dolphins. I know what you’re thinking. They haven’t been to the Super Bowl since 1984. That’s simply not true. They have been involved in every Super Bowl since. They throw great parties! … More You Can’t Do This!!!
Heather and I were sitting in the living room discussing a living will. I said, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” Heather got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of the beer. … More Television – Yes!!
In honor of the GOP taking control of the House and Senate, I must make a Republican joke. You know you’re a Republican if you ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch “lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn’t want to contribute to society.” … More My Right Wing is Tired!!
NFL coaches cover their mouths with their play menu cards to keep the opposition from reading their lips. I think they should all become ventriloquists instead. You’re welcome. … More What Are You Saying??
A guy who went into a sports bar to watch the Miami Dolphins play the New England Patriots last year, and had a little dog with him. He told the manager that every time the Patriots scored a touchdown, the dog would bark, wag his tail and run around excitedly. The Patriots won, and the dog did a back flip! The bartender was amazed. “That’s great,” he said. “But what does he
do if Miami wins?” The guy said, “I don’t know. The dog’s only 7 years old.” … More NFL on Thursday Night. Worst Idea Ever!