Recently. All the coffee I’ve had is decaf. What’s the point? Coffee is supposed to wake you up. Decaf forces you to pretend. To trick your mind. I don’t need to trick my mind. It gets upset when I do it. My mind is still upset about the whole Santa Claus thing. It’s really ticked … More Only Decaf???
I think I might have found the pain that women feel during childbirth. Last night I had a charly horse in my right ribcage. The pain was crazy and I couldn’t breathe. It finally subsided and then it hit my left ribcage. Back and forth for a long time. Ok, I know it couldn’t have … More No, Not The Ribs!!!
My wife bought me a beautiful Miami Dolphins coat for Christmas. It’s even reversible. Too bad the season isn’t. When I wear the coat I also wear a paper bag over my head. At least sports seems to become less important as I grow older. It used to crush me if one of my favorites … More Skunked Again!!!
Note to the Miami Dolphins: Never start a quarterback who is obviously color blind. What an ugly loss last night to the Baltimore Ravens, who are just not very good. Fortunately for them, the Dolphins made them look like SuperBowl contenders, losing 40 – 0. Miami had nothing. They ran slower than a one legged … More It’s The Wrong Guy!!
Anniversaries are a lot like bungi jumping. If you forget something critical, you die. A woman’s memory is amazing. She can recall the first day you met, dated, kissed got engaged, got married and everything you’ve done wrong since the wedding. Yesterday marked the 20th anniversary of our first date. How do I know? I … More Yikes!! Our Anniversary Was Yesterday and I forgot!!
I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done. It’s worse than you think. I became a fan of the Miami Dolphins. This time of year is bittersweet for many, including me. It’s playoff time! Yabba Dabba Do!! But, that also means that we’re heading like a bullet train to the end of the season. Horrible. … More I’m an Addict!!!
What do you give to the man who has everything? Simple. Penicillin. Its kind of like the joke where a man goes to the doctor, not feeling well. After tests, the doctor told the man that he had so many illnesses that he needed to be quarantined and fed a steady diet of pizza. … More The Pressure is On!!