I was at a coffee shop recently and asked an employee what the wifi password was. She said “You have to buy a drink first.” I said, “OK, I’ll take a pumpkin spice latte.” After I paid for the drink I asked “Now what is the password?” She said “It’s ‘You have to buy a … More I Can’t Remember The Password!!
We took Heather’s Mom to brunch. It was magical and by that I mean they had a guy doing table magic. I asked him how he did a trick and he said, “I could tell you but I would have to kidnap you, never to return.” I said, “I understand. Could you tell my Mother-in-law?” … More I’ve Been Kidnapped!!!
During a job interview, the interviewer told me that this position really needs a very responsible person. I said, “I’m your man! At every job I’ve had, when ever there was a major problem they said I was responsible.” She was not amused. I think a good sense of humor should never be overlooked in … More You’re Fired.. Hired.. Get Out!!
Every time I’m tempted to eat a cheeseburger I hear two voices. One says “Eat the cheeseburger.” The other one says “You heard him, eat the cheeseburger!” It is virtually impossible for me to resist a really good cheeseburger. Who am I kidding, it doesn’t even really have to be that good. Within a five … More I’m So Weak!!!
I saw a cashier at a Starbucks spill coffee all over their computer. The angry manager cleaned up the coffee and was turning the computer back on. The cashier said, “Please let it work. Please let it work!” A barista walked by and said, “It should be faster than ever. That was a double shot … More Coffee Bytes!!!!
I potty trained my kids to go in the neighbor’s house. When my kids were little and my cooking skills consisted of opening a wrapper, we dined at Mickey-D’s a lot. Quick, easy, inexpensive and happy kids. Who knew that we were also destroying their health? When we would arrive at McDonald’s, the kids’ job … More Mac Daddy!
A California woman is suing Jelly Belly claiming she was tricked into believing their candy was sugar-free. She also believes that the SPAM she bought contained real meat. The woman said the company’s “sport beans” lists evaporated cane juice as an ingredient instead of sugar. She argues Jelly Belly purposely left the word “sugar” off … More I Have a Jelly Belly!!!