A woman saw a little old looking man rocking in a chair outside a Cracker Barrel restaurant. She said, “You look so happy. What’s your secret for a long happy life?” The man said, “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink lots of whiskey, eat cheeseburgers and never exercise.” The woman said, “That’s … More You Turkey!!
My Father once told me I would amount to nothing. I argued with him that wasn’t true. I went to law school, became an attorney then went on to become a successful politician. It was only then I realized he was right. Of all the things my parents wanted me to become, I think the … More A Lawyer Walks Into A Comedy Club…
Doing stand up is a lot like being in a play, except there’s no script, no other performers on stage with you and no intermission. Actually, it’s nothing like being in a play at all. I don’t know why any comedians decide to continue doing stand up after their first experience, which is normally awful. … More I Forgot My Lines!!!
While studying geology one day, the teacher was showing us how to read a map. After explaining latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes she asked, “If I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude . . .?” After a long silence, I … More Eat Lunch Where??
Two camels are out in the desert. One says to the other one, I don’t care what anyone says, I’m thirsty! … More 300 Blogs!
There’s a new study out that says that “Feeling guilty is part of parenthood”. Duh. I don’t feel so bad. Every kid needs something to talk to their shrink about. … More I Feel Guilty!