I had an uncle who, when my aunt said she was going to ‘put on her face’, said “I hope it’s not the same one as yesterday.” I said I HAD an uncle. The service was lovely. I love the fact that my wife doesn’t wear any make up. She really has a natural beauty. … More Stop Making That Face!!!
I joined a poker game at an Eagles club. I was on fire! I ended up winning about two grand! I went to cash out and the guy said he would take a check. What? He said, “This is charity night. You donate the amount that you win! Thank you for your generosity!” Ugh. There … More What??? It’s Fake???
Heather and I argued and weren’t talking to each other. I realized I needed to wake up at 5 am and needed her to take me to the airport. I didn’t want lose so I wrote a note, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” I woke up at 9 am! Then I saw a note … More I’m Not Speaking To You!!!
Do you know why hummingbirds hum? They forget the lyrics. I love birds. All of them. If I wasn’t too busy using my binoculars to spy on my neighbors, I would be an avid bird watcher. Hummingbirds are my favorite. I’m impatiently waiting for them to arrive next month! The bird feeder is already out … More I Forgot The Words!!
A woman had a heart attack. She saw God and asked if her time was up. God said, “No, you have another 43 years to live.” With her new lease on life, she decided to have a face-lift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. After healing, she was crossing the street and was hit by a bus. She asked God, “I thought you said I had another 40 years! Why didn’t you save me from that bus?” God replied, “Girl, I didn’t recognize you!” … More Solid Foundation!!
I think it would have been funny if Johnny Cash and Eddie Money would have done a show together. It would have been Cash Money. … More Cash or Charge??