“I couldn’t play center in football, I’m ticklish.” ~Keith Stubbs I first met Keith Stubbs when we worked in the corporate office of a major retailer in 1985. He worked in the offices across the hall from my office. I heard him talking about buying a new Pontiac Sunbird. I played a successful prank convincing … More Keith Stubbs – My Friend!
“I carry a remote control in my car. When I’m stopped at a red light, I wait until the other light turns yellow, right before my light turns green, I hold the remote out the window point it at the light and click it. People freak out.” ~Me It’s been a few years since since … More I Quit! No I Don’t. Yes I Do!!
One day after church a pregnant woman was stopped by the Pastor. He said “I couldn’t help but notice that you were rubbing your belly”. She said, “Yeah, he was kicking me pretty hard”. The Pastor said, “Well that’s a relief”. She said, I’m not sure it’s a relief. He usually sleeps through the sermon … More This Is Boring!!
Old comedians never die. They just can’t stand up anymore. Yesterday, I announced my immediate retirement from stand up comedy. I’ve been doing stand up for about 30 years and I have loved it until the last couple of performances. They were really hard. The audience didn’t know it but my wife, her sister … More I Can’t Stand Up!!
1989: Me: Hey, are you coming to my wedding? Keith Stubbs: Nah, I’ll catch the next one. Good friends are so difficult to find. Everyone knows that, but there are some people who become life long friends, and we may not even know why. There are certain aspects of a friendship which tells … More Great Friends!!
When I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag to my mouth and drink all of the wine inside. … More Captivating!
If the eyes are truly the windows to the soul, I’m going to put blinds on them. I don’t need people looking in there. … More Windows to the Soul!
I’ve heard people say, “Don’t get your nose out of joint”, which makes me wonder if some people get arthritis in their nose. … More Arthritis in Your Nose??
In my mind, Fruit Loops sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals. … More Breakfast!
Every time my wife asks me who I’m talking to on the phone, texting, emailing, etc., I always tell her it’s Jake, from State Farm. … More Suspicious Minds!