The phrase ‘No pun intended’ has always baffled me. A pun is a pun. If it gets a reaction, just take credit for it in your mind and move on. Maybe your intentions are good but the flow of your presentation is interrupted. Yeah, I know. Every single pun I’ve ever told has been intended. … More Yes, The Pun Was Intended!!!
Some practical jokes can get out of hand. I started yelling set up lines at my neighbor. Then about an hour later I’d yell the punch line. He laughed every time. The last time, though, he didn’t laugh so I shot him. The nerve. I’m currently honing my prison gang set list. Sometimes people don’t … More You Crossed The Line!!!
As a comedian, you know you’ve had a bad show when one by one, audience members stop by before leaving and say, “That was good. You were funny. Keep practicing.” Keep practicing? “Lady, I’ve been doing comedy for 30 years! You keep practicing at laughing, you idiot!” Out loud I say, “Thank you, I will.” … More I Secretly Hate You!!!
The last time I was in the hospital, the nurse was helping me walk in the bathroom. There was a warning on the toilet that read ‘total weight 300 lbs’. I said, “That’s stupid. Who would want to steal a 300 lb toilet?” She didn’t get it. I thought it was funny. Some jokes are … More I Can’t Take It!!!!
I’m happy to see so many people exercising their first amendment rights on social media. Oh, as long as I agree with them. Thankfully, the hateful arguing has slowed way down. I came very close to bowing out of all of it. Too stressful for someone who tries to avoid stress because it triggers seizures. … More What Did You Say?????
I used to try to golf with some friends every Friday afternoon”. One day I was really frustrated after leaving so many divots (for my friends who don’t golf, it’s digging up the grass and dirt with your club as you swing). I said, “I would move Heaven and Earh just to have a decent … More Replace Your Divot!!!
Last night, while coming back from a Halloween party, I made a wrong turn and ended up at home. A joke, obviously. First of all, I can’t drive. Secondly, home is my safe place. Those that are ill will know what I’m talking about. I do know people, however, who make excuses for not coming … More Wrong Turn