A woman asked her banker for a $5,000 loan before heading out on vacation. He said, What will you use for collateral? She said, “My Rolls Royce”. He said, “A Rolls Royce? Really”? She gives him the keys and registration and left with her money. When she came back two weeks later, she paid off … More I’m Double Parked!!
Heather has been pretty sick so we went to see a doctor last week. She told the doctor she had a sore throat, bad cough and a fever.” The doctor examined Heather and told her it was a bad chest cold. Heather said that a lot of people in her office have it too. The … More That’s Not Funny!!
Doing stand up is a lot like being in a play, except there’s no script, no other performers on stage with you and no intermission. Actually, it’s nothing like being in a play at all. … More Stand Up Comedy!!
We play the home version of Undercover Boss, only I know exactly who the boss is, changes are made without my input and I never get $10,000 for being enthusiastic. … More You’re Fired!
“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.” ~Joan Rivers … More Joan Rivers, Has it Been a Year Already?
I know I’m getting old. Yesterday, I tried to straighten the wrinkles in my socks, only to find I wasn’t wearing any. … More I’m Getting Old!
I love my children with all of my heart, but my son’s scouting trips nearly killed me. I’m about as skilled in the woods as Joan Rivers. … More Cub Scouts Nearly Killed Me!