When I was in elementary school, my teacher asked me “Jerry, if you have five dollars and you ask your Dad for five more, how many would you have?” I said “Five.” She said, “You don’t know addition very well.” I said, “You don’t know my Dad very well.” Parents need to be frugal for … More

Stop!!! Thief!!!

I was talking to my friend about crazy things that we and people we know have done. My friend said, “My uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took the wheels from a Cadillac, the grill from a Rolls-Royce, and tires from a Mercedes.” I asked, “What did he get?” He said, … More Stop!!! Thief!!!

Get Off My Land!!!

I’m pretty sure its illegal to drive your car on someone else’s lawn. In fact, I’m really sure. At least the bail wasn’t very much.  I remember seeing deep tire tracks on someone’s lawn and wondering what the heck happened. Was it a really bad and expensive prank or maybe someone parks their car on … More Get Off My Land!!!

I’m A Fool!!

On Saturday, I got a call from someone claiming to be a clerk at our police station saying I had a parking ticket that was old and now I had a warrant. It was April Fools Day, so I said, “Really? Your Mama has a warrant out for being ugly.” The jail cell wasn’t too … More I’m A Fool!!

Quick Thinking!!

Last week a guy came at me with scissors. Fortunately, I responded quickly with a big rock. Imagine if I had responded with a piece of paper. Close call. Some people are very quick thinkers, while others take their time to respond. This is useful when playing chess or scrabble, but not so much in … More Quick Thinking!!