Whenever someone says, “we had ribs last night and they were awesome. The meat fell right off the bone.” Guess what? The meat is supposed to fall off the bone. I have never yet heard someone say, “We had ribs last night and they were awesome. Except I couldn’t get any meat off the bone. … More Stop Ribbing Me!!!
I wonder if Bobby McFerrin is still happy after he turned out to be a one hit wonder. Seriously? I’m supposed to be happy if I am so far late on my rent that the landlord is going to sue me, I don’t think I’m going to be very happy. How in the world are … More Worry A Little. Life Ain’t Happy All Of The Time!!
I am at my very best when I have no competition I know that people say winning and losing any kind of a situation builds character, but I think it’s better if you win every single time. Who wants to lose? I’ll tell you who, losers like to lose every once in a while. I … More What A Loser!!!!
Once I bought a nice pocket watch. The sales guy asked me if it was for anyone special. I said “No, I’m just getting it for myself.” He said, “Would you like to have it in graved?” I said, “Yes please. I would like to read, ‘Dear Jerry, I give you this watch as a … More Would I Like It Engraved? Seriously!!!
When I was in Air Force boot camp, we were outside doing physical training. We were told to get in formation and remain still and silent. I couldn’t help myself. I started squirming like I was dancing (not a pretty sight). I heard “Mabbott, what is wrong with you?” “I’m covered with fire ants, sir!” … More They’re Killing Me!
You hear this a lot. The very fact that you say it means it’s not true. When you’re completely over someone, you will stop talking about them. They won’t even cross your mind. I don’t want to see you on an episode of dateline. That’s really not the best way to get the other person … More I’m Completely Over Him!!!
Like using the word bug when you really mean bother. I don’t know why or When bother was replaced by the word bug, maybe it’s just because bugs have a tendency to bug us. There! I’ve done it again. Bugs bother me. End of story. It’s a lot like using the word funny improperly. If … More You Bug Me!!!!