My landlord is so cool! I told him we needed a peep hole in the front door. He really didn’t want a hole in the door, so he bought a ring bell so I can see everyone who comes to the door before I open it. Now when the cops come for me, I can … More Knock Knock!! I Know Who You Are!!
It’s snowing here, so the floor was kind of slippery at McDonald’s. Of course I was the one who slipped and fell. I hurt my knee, back, neck and leg. I thought about suing, but they offered me a free breakfast sandwich every week for a year! Score! I love McDonald’s breakfast. I really don’t … More I’m Pretty Sure I’m McStupid!!!
On this very day, 23 ago, I was 39 years old. It’s not my birthday or anything at all significant. I just happened to think about that this morning. Carry on. It’s kind of like the joke, “Today I broke my own record of consecutive days alive.” It really does boggle the mind with regard … More Wow! Time Really Does Fly!!!
I think there is nothing as disgusting as cleaning out the refrigerator and discovering partially liquified cucumbers, zucchini etc., with the exception of pizza with pineapple and anchovies. That should be illegal. Like most men, I always get stuck with every single gross chore. Why is this sort of a standard? Men have even been … More That’s Gross! I’m Not Touching It!!!
Hmmm…. Why aren’t boys going crazy trying to get in the girl Scouts? Maybe because they don’t want to wear skirts and sell cookies? I’m all for progress that makes sense, but please explain to me why girls, who have the girls scout organization, feel the need to infiltrate the boy scout world? To me, … More Girls In The Boy Scouts??? Are You Insane???
When my wife was pregnant with our daughter, Sarah, she wanted the birth to take place in a warm tranquil environment with soft music, soft lighting and a hot tub. We looked at the place and I asked, “Uh, isn’t this what got us into this in the first place?” That really did happen. She … More Not Again!!!
Heather and I were at our favorite steakhouse. I ordered a rib eye. The waiter asked me how I would like it cooked. I said, Like winning an argument with my wife.” He said, “Very good, sir, rare it is.” Heather just smiled. I used to be a “right fighter”. I had to win an … More Is It Even Possible???