You Turkey!!

A woman saw a little old looking man rocking in a chair outside a Cracker Barrel restaurant. She said, “You look so happy. What’s your secret for a long happy life?” The man said, “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink lots of whiskey, eat cheeseburgers and never exercise.” The woman said, “That’s … More You Turkey!!

Hot Diggity Dog!!!

I’m losing weight now, which is good. I think you’re only supposed to have one chin and the back of my neck is beginning to look like a package of hot dogs. I love hot dogs. Period. Boiled, fried, barbecued, roasted over a fire, microwaved, raw, cut into pieces in scrambled eggs or mac and … More Hot Diggity Dog!!!

Howdy, Neighbor!

Our neighbor had a yard sale. Annoyed by all of the traffic, I offered her $100 for everything. Then I realized I would never use any of it, so I put up some signs, sold the stuff and made $300. My neighbor is still not talking to me. Unbelievable. We were having a fire in … More Howdy, Neighbor!

Busted!!!

A guy called his wife and said his boss had  asked him to go on a fishing trip. He asked her to put some clothes in a suitcase together and not to forget his silk pajamas. When he returned, he told her about all of the fish he caught and wondered why she didn’t pack … More Busted!!!

I’m Freezing!!!

On Christmas Eve, we always go out to eat at the nicest place within our price range. This year, a diner was continually bugging the waiter to adjust the air conditioning. First he was too cold, then too hot. The waiter was very patient and kept going back and forth per the customer’s request. I … More I’m Freezing!!!