It’s very annoying to me that during an interview some people ask and answer their own questions. Example: “Do I think this is lame? Yes.”￼￼ Seriously, for some reason it drives me nuts. I used to have a teacher who would do the same thing. We were never able to answer the question that was … More Am I what!?!?
I love the new American Express commercial where a young woman gets the card and goes nuts, buying everything she wants. They don’t tell you that you have to pay it back and she’ll be homeless when it comes time to pay the rent. ￼￼ Most of us have done it especially when it is … More What Are You, Nuts? I Can’t Pay It Back!!!!
I love it when someone is being interrogated by the police and 3/4 of the way into the interview the officer asks a question and the person says, “honestly?” That just doesn’t look good. It means that everything you’ve said up until then may have been a lie. Not smart. Instead, maybe you could say, … More To Be Honest…
A valuable lesson last night. Wait to perform assigned duties. If you make the mistake of doing something without being told, looking for ‘What a great husband’ points, DON’T! It’s a trap! Not only will she ignore it, she’ll just give you another assignment! I don’t know what, why or how the female mind works. … More Get Me Out Of Here!!!!
A recent (real) study found that the average American utters their first curse word of the day at 10:54 a.m. I know! Bull!! The average person is stuck in traffic long before that so it can’t possibly be true. I think most everyone hates a traffic jam. I think ‘Criminal Minds’ profilers have it all … More Get Out Of My Way!!!!
If you are a snooze button user, here is the perfect solution. Place a wasp nest on the top of your clock. Problem solved.My wife is notorious for hitting the snooze button for at least an hour before she has to be out of bed. I don’t get it. If I have to get up … More If You Snooze, You Lose!!!
Now that our kids are grown and two of them have children, I like to mess with them from time to time. I never tell them what we’re sending the kids on their birthdays and I sometimes can’t resist the urge to buy them something loud and obnoxious. Justice. Heh, heh, heh. When two of … More I’m Going Nuts!!!
In a church bulletin: Weight Watchers meeting at 7 PM. Please use large double door at the side entrance. People obviously make mistakes, but none as scrutinized as those printed in a church bulletin. Secretaries proof read the bulletins, but it’s not a fool proof system. The spoken word can get just as messy. One … More Hooker? Seriously???
My daughter and her husband are having difficulty keeping their boys from running into the parking lot. So they put up a gate. Steve was working on the outside of the gate and dropped a screw. “Don’t worry, Daddy”, Isaac said, “I’ll get it for you”. He crawled under the gate and got the screw. … More Kids Are Brilliant!!!
I’m officially announcing my candidacy for President. Obviously, this is an eleventh hour, grass roots effort that will require write in votes. I promise to bring gas prices down to $1.50 per gallon by stopping payments to oil rich countries and harvesting our own natural resources. Gym class for every child in school and all … More When I am in Office…