That’s it. I’ve had it! I think I’m going to quit my job today. I know I’m disabled and retired and my only real jobs around the house are doing the dishes, folding laundry, and keeping the toilets clean. I don’t mind cleaning the toilets or doing the dishes, But I absolutely hate doing laundry. … More You want me to do what???
Yesterday my wife and I decided to swap cell phones. Mine was larger than hers, being an iPhone 8 S and hers being an iPhone X. it was easy to switch the Sim cards but during the ￼back up and restore process I was as confused as Kanye West searching for an identity. The whole … More I Can’t Back Up!!!
Several years ago, Heather broke her elbow and they had to put a plate in there in order to heal properly and then protect in the future. Poor baby, now she has to walk around all day with a saucer under her skin. The only time it comes in handy is when she’s with her … More I Have A Plate In My Head!!!
One of the things that the Internet has eliminated is sticker shock. Now people do a lot of research online before they even start to shop. So when they look at the price sticker on the car, they’re never shocked. If I was a car salesman I would hook up the window with the sticker … More Sticker Shock!!! Call 911!!!
I know my current anniversary is February 7th. I never miss it. IPhone reminders are amazing! I Forgot the other three. Why do I want to remember? Because on those days I would so sit around in my boxers and an old stained t-shirt, drink beer, belch a lot and scratch myself. Sure, I’d clean … More Yikes!!! I Forgot My Anniversary!!!
We spent 10 1/2 hours in the car yesterday going to get out new dog, Shiloh. Ten hours! I don’t know which hurts more; my tush, back, knees… I’m a wimp. When I was a comedian I drove all over the place and still had a spring in my step. Well apparently the spring broke … More Everything Hurts!!!
Yesterday I was messing around with my computer. Heather asked me what I was doing. I said “I’m trying to fix a problem. My pc says it can’t see my printer!” She said. “That doesn’t surprise me. Your office is a disaster. I can’t see your printer either!” I’ll admit, I do have a pretty … More I Can’t See Anything!!!
Just when I thought it wasn’t possible, today I’m a bigger baseball fan than ever! Ok, so it’s because I gained 30 pounds during the off season, but still… Major league baseball is just a week from today! The smell of the freshly cut grass! Hot dogs! Nachos! Beer! The Crack of the bat! Juicing! … More I Can Smell The Grass!!
On this very day, 23 ago, I was 39 years old. It’s not my birthday or anything at all significant. I just happened to think about that this morning. Carry on. It’s kind of like the joke, “Today I broke my own record of consecutive days alive.” It really does boggle the mind with regard … More Wow! Time Really Does Fly!!!
When my wife was pregnant with our daughter, Sarah, she wanted the birth to take place in a warm tranquil environment with soft music, soft lighting and a hot tub. We looked at the place and I asked, “Uh, isn’t this what got us into this in the first place?” That really did happen. She … More Not Again!!!