I was cooking dinner and the smoke alarm went off. I went to find my kids and they were washing their hands. I said, “Didn’t you hear that noise?” My daughter said, “Yes. It was the smoke detector. It means dinner is ready.” Well what should I expect from a comedian’s kids? All of my … More Fire!!!

Grow Up!!!

When my daughter, Sarah was little and sitting in her high chair, she was twisting and moving all over the place. My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.” I said, “Sarah, what are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It’s time to grow up.” My wife didn’t … More Grow Up!!!

60?? Really??

I’m old. The other day I was walking past a cemetery and three guys started chasing me with shovels! ~Rodney Dangerfield Its hard to wrap my head around the fact that I’ll be 60 years old in just a few weeks. I know, many people tell me to just embrace it. EMBRACE IT?? Are they … More 60?? Really??