I was feeling philosophical once and I took a glass out of the liquor cabinet and filled it half full of scotch. I asked my parents if it was half full or half empty. My Dad said, it depends on whether you’re drinking or pouring. He downed the scotch and left the room. Well played, … More It’s Half Full!! Wait! Half Empty!! Oh, I Don’t Know!!!
My friend, his daughter Beth and I were at the mall and ran into another friend of mine. After introductions, he said to my friend, “And what is Beth short for?” Her father said,”Because she’s only 4, you idiot” I find it interesting the way we shorten names and other words. For example, you’ll never … More I’m Not That Short!!!
Heather and I approved a bill that will keep our house running for three more months. That was close! I had to agree to relinquish the remote control and stop telling dumb jokes (AKA my act) while she will do nothing different. I’m the first to admit that Heather runs the marriage, although she doesn’t … More We Can’t Afford It!!!!
After being stuck in a muddy road, a guy paid a passing farmer five dollars to pull him out with his tractor. He told the farmer that at those prices, he should be pulling people out of the mud night and day. “Can’t”, said the farmer. “At night I haul water for the hole.” … More Scam!!!