A senator died and met St. Peter, who said, “We seldom see a politician. So, you’ll spend a day hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.” In hell, he sees all of his friends playing golf. Then they dined on lobster and champagne. When he gets back, he said, “No need to see heaven, I want to spend eternity with my friends”. When he arrives, he sees them picking up trash as more trash falls from above. He asks the devil, “I don’t understand. Yesterday we had a great time. Now it’s full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?” The devil said, “Yesterday we were campaigning….Today you voted.” … More Vote For Me!!
A friend won a ticket to the Super Bowl. It was in a terrible seat. He saw an empty seat at the 50 yard line and took it. The guy sitting next to him said this was the first Super Bowl that his wife missed since 1968. My buddy asked why he didn’t give the ticket to a family member. The guy said, “They’re at her funeral.” … More Super Bowl!
Two guys were being slowed down on the golf course by two ladies in front of them. One guy said he would simply ask the women if they could play through. He came back and said “I can’t. It’s my wife and mistress!” The other guy said he would do it, but also came back quickly, saying, “I can’t do it, I have the same problem!” … More Fore!!
Watching golf on tv is boring to me. I think it would be more interesting if there were random pits covered with grass on the course. … More Tiger in the Woods!
Fishing shows fascinate me. At least they practice catch and release. It doesn’t work for hunting… … More Crazy Sports!