I firmly believe I have the answer to one of our nation’s greatest problems. I want to make it illegal to own a goldfish. Not multiple goldfish, just a single fish. They live alone, have no privacy and generally don’t live very long because they’re owned by forgetful kids. I love goldfish. They’re beautiful creatures, … More I Struck Gold!!!
A woman lived yards north of North Dakota. One day her son said, “I just got some news. Our land really belongs to North Dakota. We have the right to approve it. What do you think?” His mother said. “Sign it! I don’t think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!” Other than … More I’m Leaving Canada!!!
A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The panda eats it, shoots the waiter, and walks out. The owner yells for him to stop. “You order food, kill my waiter, then leave without paying!” The bear says, “Hey! I’m a Panda. Look it up!” The owner Googles “panda bear” and read “Panda: a bear-like marsupial who eats shoots and leaves.” … More Panda Express!!