I Struck Gold!!!

I firmly believe I have the answer to one of our nation’s greatest problems. I want to make it illegal to own a goldfish. Not multiple goldfish, just a single fish. They live alone, have no privacy and generally don’t live very long because they’re owned by forgetful kids.  I love goldfish. They’re beautiful creatures, … More I Struck Gold!!!

Panda Express!!

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The panda eats it, shoots the waiter, and walks out. The owner yells for him to stop. “You order food, kill my waiter, then leave without paying!” The bear says, “Hey! I’m a Panda. Look it up!” The owner Googles “panda bear” and read “Panda: a bear-like marsupial who eats shoots and leaves.” … More Panda Express!!