I’m learning how to slice food with one of those ‘As seen on tv’ gadgets one finger at a time. I finally threw it away. I’m a bleeder. I don’t think having perfectly sliced cucumbers is worth bleeding out. I wish I was kidding, but I’m not. I’ve used the thing three times resulting in … More I Want My Finger Back!!!
During a job interview, the interviewer told me that this position really needs a very responsible person. I said, “I’m your man! At every job I’ve had, when ever there was a major problem they said I was responsible.” She was not amused. I think a good sense of humor should never be overlooked in … More You’re Fired.. Hired.. Get Out!!
I just took a bite of a delicious looking pumpkin pop tart straight out of the toaster. My teeth all cracked and my tongue fell off. Man, that hurt! I’m really not sure if my teeth cracked, but I definitely heard something like popcorn popping. I’m afraid to look. Getting a burn inside your mouth … More Wait A Minute, You Idiot!!