Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and I’ve often said that it is the worst day of the year for men. You have to get flowers, take her out to dinner, give her chocolates or her favorite treat. and there’s still no guarantee that you’ll get what you want. Seriously, who wants to go out and wait … More I have to send them where???
Never give Valentine’s cards unless you’re REALLY in love with the person. Every card is like “You’re my soul mate, I couldn’t live without you, I can’t imagine life without you, etc.” There should be cards that say, “Even though you’re not the one, things are OK.” When I was dating, I used to break … More Ugh! Again Already???
If your lady works outside the home and you’re planning on giving her flowers today, be sure you send them to her workplace. Do not wait until she gets home. The whole point, in her eyes, is to make the other ladies jealous. And that’s all I know about women. I’ve had other things pounded … More I Don’t Know Nothin!!!
Ladies birthdays are similar to gambling. One bad decision can either make you great guy or a schmuck. It’s even tougher when you don’t drive. I was going to hit the store with my driver but the last time I went on a rampage in a store with a golf club it didn’t end well. … More You Bought Me What???
My friend Roy Cole is a great attorney. One day he called the governor and said that one of the local judges had died and he wanted to take his place. The judge said, “Well, if it’s ok with the undertaker, I guess it’s ok with me”. Funeral expenses are insane. Nine or ten grand … More That’s Not What I Want!!!
A new business owner’s friend sent flowers for the opening, but the card read “Rest in Peace”. The angry owner called the florist, who said, “Sir, I’m really sorry, but don’t be angry, imagine this: Somewhere there’s a funeral and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on you new location.” … More Blooming Idiot!
Valentine’s day is the worst day for men. We have to jump through so many hoops to try to give her what she wants, and even if we get it right, there’s no guarantee we’ll get what we want. … More Valentine’s Day is Scary