I saw my therapist a few days ago. She scolded me for missing my last two appointments because my condition is serious. I said, “I know, but I was just doing what you told me.” She said, “I haven’t told you to skip appointments!” I said,”No, but you told me to avoid people who irritate … More You Make Me Crazy!!!
My dogs have no manners. They eat like animals! I love having dogs as pets. Some people say I’m a dog lover, which sounds gross to me. There are laws against cooking dogs. If your thoughts went a different direction, shame on you . They really have become an integral part of the family in … More Mind Your Manners!!!
What do you give to the man who has everything? Simple. Penicillin. Its kind of like the joke where a man goes to the doctor, not feeling well. After tests the doctor told the man that he had so many illnesses that he needed to be quarantined and fed a steady diet of pizza. “You … More I Have What????
1989: Me: “Hey, are you coming to my wedding”? Keith Stubbs: “Nah, I’ll catch the next one. You can always count on ol’ Jer to throw a weddin’ every couple of years”. Good friends are so difficult to find. Everyone knows that, but there are some people who become life long friends, and we may … More Good Friends Are Hard To Find!
Most people think there are only nine Reindeer, but there are actually 10. You don’t hear much about her because she’s kind of mean. She’s mentioned in the song. “Olive, the other Reindeer, used to laugh and call him names….” I know. Silly joke but this time of year is perfect for being silly. I … More Ten Reindeer???
Last year, my wife woke up on her birthday and excitedly told me that she had a dream that I gave her a diamond necklace! She asked what the dream meant, so I gave her a book on how to interpret dreams. Bad move. There are four different family groups: A nuclear family is made … More We’re Family!!
I asked my grandson if he knew where we lived. He said, “At the airport. When we want you, we go get you. Then, when we’re done with your visit, we take you back to the airport”. Sound logic. A child’s perspective is so interesting. When you travel across the country, it seems like you’re … More I Love Our Grandkids!!
Today, I have broken my all time record for consecutive days alive! Well, today I’m 64 years old. Wait a minute, 64????? The big six four?? How did this happen? Who is responsible? Someone must be punished! Um, wait a minute. That would undoubtedly be God. The Almighty. I was just kidding about the punishment … More I Broke The Record!!
I miss Black Friday. All of the angry customers who waited all night in a freezing parking lot to save a few bucks on a defective MP3 player. They would get really angry and yell at me all day because we ran out of the 17 half price laptops which I had posted on the … More Black Friday Is Gone!!!!
A lady was looking through all of the turkeys at the grocery store but couldn’t find one large enough to suit her needs. She asked the clerk, “Excuse me, do these turkeys get any bigger?” The clerk said, “No ma’am, they’re dead.” So many years ago, as the pilgrims sat down to eat with … More What?? No Football????