I finally realize that I need to join a gym and get in shape. I’ll work out for a full year. Let’s see, I pick 2028. There was a time when Heather and I went to the gym Monday through Saturday and really worked out hard. We really became addicted to exercise. I know! We … More I’m Going To Do It!!
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg! Losing weight is such a challenge. Most of us know that. I find it horrible and fulfilling at the same time. It’s not just dieting, it’s also working out. I know many people love it, … More I’ve Gained 7 Pounds!!
My best friend told me that onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I hit him in the nose with a whole cantaloupe. I think I need a new friend. … More Friends!
In a church bulletin: Weight Watchers meeting at 7 PM. Please use large double door at the side entrance. … More Crazy Stuff!
The happiest man on earth has to be the son of the $590,000,000 lottery winner in Florida last year. The least happy? The nice lady who let her go ahead of her in line. … More I Am Rich!
I avoid the word “hello” completely. It is almost always the last word spoken by murder victims on TV and the movies. If I were ever in that situation, I think I would say, “Hey, Jason, we finally found this guy. Let’s kill him!” … More Hello?
I hate time. It causes my clothes to shrink. … More Yikes! My Clothes Shrunk!
Finally, a show we can relate to here in Utah: Law and Order, SUV. … More Law and Order!
I wish I were a turtle. Especially the larger ones. They live for a very long time, they never have the stress of house hunting and they are really ugly but everyone says they’re cute. … More Ugly Turtles!
I think it would be funny if a TV provider went to a restaurant and the maitre d’ told him he would be served sometime between 7 and 10. … More Television Providers Stink!