I hate my middle name. Despise it, absolutely repulsed by it. Why? Because my parents gave me the middle name of Eldon. You read correctly, Eldon! Seriously? With all of the name choices available, that’s the best they could come up with? I would have preferred something better, like Bernard. Naming the kid should never … More You Named Me What???
Baseball players use bats to hit the ball and the those bats are really made of wood. I think they should use real bats. Sorry PETA, It just makes sense to me. I know it would be much more difficult to hit a home run, but I’ve always heard the game is not really about … More Bats In My Belfry???
This year, we have broken our Christmas Tree tradition and actually took the tree down before August. I love Christmas trees. That’s not unusual in itself, but we normally don’t take it down until far into the new year. Obviously, we have an artificial tree. We tried it once with a natural tree but in … More Oh Tannenbaum, Oh Tannenbaum…
Heather and I were playing ‘Trivial Pursuit’ with some friends when one of the other guys got the question, ‘If you’re in a vacuum and someone calls your name, could you hear it?’ He told thought it over and asked, “Is it on or off?” Knucklehead. Playing games with friends or family can be very … More Seriously?? That’s Your Answer???
On Easter this year Heather and I were reminiscing about years past when we colored and hid eggs around the yard for the kids. Then she said, “Don’t worry, Jerry. We can hide our pills this year instead.” I remember my Mom and Dad taking lots of meds and vitamins at night as they were … More I Refuse To Take Them!!!
A guy I know came from a foreign land (legally, Mr. Trump) and wanted to become accustomed to all of our holidays and celebrations. Someone invited him to an Easter egg hunt. He shot six eggs before the S.W.A.T. Team took him down. Greedy parents ruined Easter in Connecticut a couple of years ago, violently … More Easter Fun! Let’s Be Violent!!
By now it should be pretty easy to find the eggs that no one found on Easter. They should stink worse than limburger cheese at this point. I’ve never tried Limburger cheese and the reason is simple. Once I hear that something is really horrible, I take a person’s word on it. No need to … More Rotten Eggs!!!