You Make Me Crazy!!!

I saw my therapist a few days ago. She scolded me for missing my last two appointments because my condition is serious. I said, “I know, but I was just doing what you told me.” She said, “I haven’t told you to skip appointments!” I said,”No, but you told me to avoid people who irritate … More You Make Me Crazy!!!

You’re Drunk!!!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Therefore applesauce everyday should keep all drunk doctors away. Typically, you wouldn’t think a physician would come to work after a bender but the odds are some of them do and I think they’re all mine. I know! It took a host of the best doctors in … More You’re Drunk!!!

You’re A Jerk!!!

I went to see my doctor because I had a sore throat. He asked what was wrong but I could barely talk. He demanded that I speak louder. I said, “I’m sorry, I’m a little hoarse.” He said, “Sorry to be the one to break it to you but the resemblance doesn’t stop there.” The … More You’re A Jerk!!!

Am I a Racist???

A couple of days ago we killed a black widow spider on our front porch. I hate black widows. Does that mean I'm racist? I know some people are offended when you kill anything but under certain circumstances I would call them out. For example, if a rattlesnake "looked" like it was going to strike … More Am I a Racist???

Unbelievable!!!!

United we stand, unless you refuse to give up the seat you paid for. Then we’ll bloody you up and drag you from the plane. Obviously we’re probably all aware by now of the horrible occurrence on the United airlines flight out of Chicago. United’s CEO, Oscar Munoz is now sending out all sorts of … More Unbelievable!!!!

I Can’t Sleep!!!

My wife told our doctor I was snoring. Here said “There’s sugery that will help. It’s $1000 down, and then payments of $450 for 24 months”. “Wow!” My wife said, “sounds like leasing a new sports car!” “Hmmm,” the doctor said, “too obvious, huh?” I ended up with a CPAP machine, which is an acronym … More I Can’t Sleep!!!