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Tag: dateline

These bones are mean!!!

December 16, 2019

Like many others I watch a great deal of true crime shows. And in almost every case there’s somebody who says the prime suspect couldn’t have done it because he didn’t have a mean bone in his body. I have one, it’s the little pinky toe on my right foot. That dude is furious.  … More These bones are mean!!!

1 Comment These bones are mean!!!

Lock The Doors!!!

November 16, 2019

If you’ve watched dateline where they investigate a small town murder, you always hear people say “we don’t even lock our doors.”, Here’s a hint. Lock your doors. I mean right now, go and lock your doors. It just seems crazy to me that, time after time, you hear people say “nothing like this happens … More Lock The Doors!!!

3 Comments Lock The Doors!!!

When Did It Happen?

July 16, 2019

Usually when someone dies, the first thing people ask is when? Not how, but when. it’s like they have to start working on their alibi. “He passed yesterday” “I’m Going to need more specific information.” Alibis are important to have just in case you become a suspect in any crime. If detectives want to talk … More When Did It Happen?

2 Comments When Did It Happen?

Seriously? I’m Replaceable???

June 22, 2019

Today we are going to a Shelter to pick up our new furry member of the family. We already picked him out and filled out the adoption paperwork. And why do I feel guilty? What is the appropriate time to replace a dog? It’s not like I’m replacing my wife who recently passed away (I … More Seriously? I’m Replaceable???

4 Comments Seriously? I’m Replaceable???

I’m Not A Narcissist!!!

December 14, 2018

I hate the word ‘narcissist’ because I didn’t create it myself. I think a real narcissist is difficult to be around because they’re always thinking of themselves and nobody else. I like to hang out with those who always think of ME first and not themselves. I know! It’s not like I’m selfish or anything, … More I’m Not A Narcissist!!!

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The Jury Said What???

November 4, 2017

A lawyer was defending a murder case. He said, “The alleged victim will walk into the courthouse in one minute. The jury stared at the door when the attorney said, “See? You were all looking at the door, which proves reasonable doubt!”  The jury found him guilty anyway. The foreman said, “Everyone was looking at … More The Jury Said What???

2 Comments The Jury Said What???

Ouch!! That Hurt!!

June 15, 2017

I was pretty hard hearted toward the ladies as a result of three divorces. The woman I was dating asked, “How much do you love me?” I said, “I love you like as many stars you can see in the sky. She said, “But it’s daylight.” I said, “I know.” I don’t think some people … More Ouch!! That Hurt!!

2 Comments Ouch!! That Hurt!!

It Just Doesn’t Add Up!!

May 9, 2017

As usual, I wasn’t paying attention in math class. My teacher noticed and asked me “Jerry, what is 2, 4, 13 and 44?” I said “CBS, ABC, FOX and HBO.” He was not amused.  I love television. Really love it. A lot. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m a TV junkie. I watch … More It Just Doesn’t Add Up!!

1 Comment It Just Doesn’t Add Up!!

I’ve Been Shot!!!

March 6, 2017

I think it would be funny when the contestants on “Hunted” who get caught were shot by nerf bullets and paintballs.  Right now its just a game of hide and seek with mostly morons who’s cell phones give away their location. Have they never watched “Dateline” or “48 hours”? A burner phone is usually a … More I’ve Been Shot!!!

2 Comments I’ve Been Shot!!!

I’m Not Safe!!

October 23, 2016

I visited a good friend in the hospital. I asked him how he was doing. “Not so good. But at least my wife visits and reads to me three times a day”. I was happy for him. I asked what she read to him. He said, “My life insurance policy”. I don’t have life insurance. … More I’m Not Safe!!

4 Comments I’m Not Safe!!

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