I hate falling down the stairs. I guess I’m supposed to dislike that￼. ￼What would it mean if I really liked it? it’s not so much the falling that hurts so bad, it’s mainly when you hit the floor at the bottom of the stairs. So I think from now on I’m going to fall … More Look Out Below!!!
I knew the day would come when I would have to write my memoirs. My life story. Completely ridiculous crazy life. So, I am embarking on the journey. I have completed 153 pages so far. They’re all blank. I know a guy who wrote his life story and I don’t think anyone is buying it. … More My Memoirs Are Really Kind Of Stupid.
This morning I got up early to enjoy a relaxing cup of coffee and watch the sunrise. I am now frozen. I’m like the Tin Man from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ only I’m not rusted. I’M FROZEN! Yes, I tried to pour the coffee on my head but it had frozen too. The coffee ice … More Help! Somebody? Anybody???
A valuable lesson last night. Wait to perform assigned duties. If you make the mistake of doing something without being told, looking for ‘What a great husband’ points, DON’T! It’s a trap! Not only will she ignore it, she’ll just give you another assignment! I don’t know what, why or how the female mind works. … More Get Me Out Of Here!!!!
I’ve often heard the phrase, ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater’. Seriously? What kind of person would do that? That’s just mean plus the wet baby would get all dirty again and that completely defeats the purpose of the bath, right? Who ‘throws’ out bathwater anyway when there’s a perfectly good drain right … More Stop Throwing The Baby!!!
A recent (real) study found that the average American utters their first curse word of the day at 10:54 a.m. I know! Bull!! The average person is stuck in traffic long before that so it can’t possibly be true. I think most everyone hates a traffic jam. I think ‘Criminal Minds’ profilers have it all … More Get Out Of My Way!!!!
I think if you aren’t chosen to be a contestant on a game show purely because you’re not dressed in a crazy costume, not jumping up and down screaming and acting like a crazy person it should be considered a hate crime. I’ve noticed that none of these wacko contestants ever wins a weapon of … More Hate Crime!!!