When I was a kid I told a cop that I had run away from home and now I can’t find my parents. Can you help me? I’d love to, said the cop but there’s just too many places for them to hide. ￼￼ ~Rodney Dangerfield I only ran away from home one time. We … More I’m out of here!!!
My landlord is so cool! I told him we needed a peep hole in the front door. He really didn’t want a hole in the door, so he bought a ring bell so I can see everyone who comes to the door before I open it. Now when the cops come for me, I can … More Knock Knock!! I Know Who You Are!!
I’m certain I’m being followed. Every time I turn around I see someone in the shadows. I called the cops, but they refused to even check it out. Hey, just because they’re my dogs doesn’t mean it doesn’t freak me out. Don’t get me wrong, I love our dogs. It’s just that I can’t begin … More They’re Tracking Me!!!!!
I woke up this morning and the back door was open. My Apple Watch and Mac Book aren’t here. Neither is my drone. I know! I remember checking all of the doors before bed and… Wait, I was distracted by something shiny and I never owned any of those items. Bad dream. As you were. … More Home Invasion!!!
When I was a teenager I was begging my dad for a car. He said, “You have two legs. What do you think they’re for?” I said, “One for the break and gas and the other for the clutch.” Didn’t get the car. When I finally got a car I was a maniac. I broke … More Hit The Breaks!!!!
I don’t understand the big deal about sharing classified documents. Our local newspaper has been publishing classified information for decades. Lately there have been a rash (strange use of the word, yeah?) of thieves calling to meet up with and buy the merchandise someone has advertised and then robbing them at gunpoint when they arrive. … More That’s Classified!!! Don’t Read It!!!
A few years ago, my wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her all I wanted was an XBOX. Nothing else. When I opened my gift, it was a beautifully hand crafted wooden box with mementos from our first date. it worked out. I got her an XBOX. In the Christmas movie … More I Don’t Want That!!