Home Invasion!!!

I woke up this morning and the back door was open. My Apple Watch and Mac Book aren’t here. Neither is my drone. I know! I remember checking all of the doors before bed and… Wait, I was distracted by something shiny and I never owned any of those items. Bad dream. As you were. … More Home Invasion!!!

Hit The Breaks!!!!

When I was a teenager I was begging my dad for a car. He said, “You have two legs. What do you think they’re for?” I said, “One for the break and gas and the other for the clutch.” Didn’t get the car. When I finally got a car I was a maniac. I broke … More Hit The Breaks!!!!

That’s Classified!!! Don’t Read It!!!

I don’t understand the big deal about sharing classified documents. Our local newspaper has been publishing classified information for decades. Lately there have been a rash (strange use of the word, yeah?) of thieves calling to meet up with and buy the merchandise someone has advertised and then robbing them at gunpoint when they arrive. … More That’s Classified!!! Don’t Read It!!!

We’re Family!!

Last year, my wife woke up on her birthday and excitedly told me that she had a dream that I gave her a diamond necklace! She asked what the dream meant, so I gave her a book on how to interpret dreams. Bad move. There are four different family groups: A nuclear family is made … More We’re Family!!


I was pulled over yesterday, and I really did learn a valuable lesson. When the officer says “You were going fast”, it’s not good to say “Yeah? Well your Mom is fast.” … More Cops